LAST week we talked about a one legged peewee being discovered at Robertson. Now we can bring you a story about 30,000 pigs floating down the Dawson River and today is not even April Fools' Day.
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THIS story began in January, when Queensland journalist Daniel Burdon reported on the devastating floods at Rockhampton. Writing in the Morning Bulletin, Daniel outlined the damage and said that "more than 30,000 pigs were floating down the Dawson River."
That sounds like a lot of pigs, but in the rush to get the newspaper to bed, nobody really questioned the number.
The next day the Bulletin ran an apology.
It seems Baralaba piggery owner, Sid Everingham, had actually told young Daniel down the phone line that "30 sows and pigs" had been washed into the river.
Perhaps Sid is Irish. If he is, you can just hear him saying those words in a lilting Irish accent, can't you?
"Aye, tirty sows and pigs went down the river me lad."
AND while we are talking about pigs and the Irish, why not continue with a tale or two about Paddy, Dudley and their pigs?
Paddy is a pig farmer and as Dudley has the neighbouring farm, he became a bit interested. So he built a shed and fenced in a special paddock near the house for a dozen sows. Since they settled quickly in their new home, Dudley decided they were ready to produce piglets. He didn't have a boar, but Paddy was quite happy for Dudley to use one of his.
He rounded up the dozen sows, put them in the back of his truck and drove up the road to meet Paddy's boar.
The twelve randy sows and a frisky young boar had a great time while Dudley and Paddy enjoyed a couple of lazy beers on the verandah.
Dudley continued this routine every day for the next week. As Dudley and Paddy sipped on a cold beer, he asked how he could tell if the sows were pregnant.
"It's pretty simple," said Paddy. "Just keep a close eye on them over the next week and if you see them behaving strangely, they'll probably be pregnant."
On Sunday morning it was raining cats and dogs, so Grace and Dudley slept in. Grace went into the kitchen to make them a cup of tea, while Dudley read the paper in bed.
"Grace," said Dudley from the bedroom, "can you see if the pigs are behaving strangely?"
"Yep, they are."
"What are they doing?"
"Eleven of them are sitting in the back of the truck," said Grace, "and one of them is on the front seat tooting the horn."
ONE night at the pub, Dudley and Paddy won two pigs in a Christmas raffle. They would eventually take one each and decided it would be easier if Paddy fattened the two pigs, then Dudley could butcher them ready for Christmas lunch.
When Paddy arrived home with the pigs he rang Dudley, wondering how they would be able to tell which one was Dudley's and which was Paddy's.
Quick as a flash Dudley suggested he cut the left ear off one of them and that could be his. Paddy thought that was a great idea until the next day Dudley's pig ate the same ear off its mate. Paddy didn't know what to do, so phoned Dudley again.
"Cut the other ear off, then," said Dudley, so he did. Next day, you guessed it, Dudley's earless pig evened the score and Paddy was confused again.
"Well cut the tail off mine, then," said Dudley, so he did.
Next day, you wouldn't believe it, but Dudley's pig ate the tale off Paddy's pig and they were left with two earless, tail-less pigs.
"What do we do now?" asked Paddy on the phone.
"I'd better come over and have a look," said Dudley.
So next day Dudley came over and had a look at the two pigs for the first time.
"Tell you what Paddy," said Dudley eyeing off the two pigs, "what say I have the white one and you keep the black one."