Content warning: this story contains discussion of suicide.
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Young people of the Illawarra are facing very real struggles but feel like adults are not hearing them, leading to a disconnect between generations in the community.
They are some of the findings stemming from programs that were developed after a series of youth suicides in the Kiama area in 2020 and 2021.
The thoughts, concerns and hopes of the young people who participated have been collated in a white paper, which those behind the programs want parents, teachers and decision-makers to learn from.
It reveals that young people value relationships with adults but need to be trusted; they are struggling and need adults to see things from their perspective; they know what they want for the immediate future, but worry it isn't enough for their parents; and they know how to maintain good mental health and get support, but need connection.
"They worry about expectations, going out of their comfort zones, what others think of them, and not achieving their dreams and goals," the paper said.
"They also worry about meeting new people, being in new environments, opening up and showing emotion.
"They care about politics and the environment, and are deeply worried about the future and not being able to stand up for what they believe to be right."
Dr Monty Badami from Habitus, the organisation behind the Lifehacks program, said there were a lot of people who wanted to help after the suicides but while well-meaning, they were not listening to the young people themselves.
Adults thought they knew what young people were going through, Dr Badami said, but they only remembered their own experiences and invalidated the difficulties young people faced now.
Cameron Graham, now 17, was involved in Life Hacks and another of the programs, Changemakers, developed by mental health organisation Sonder Youth.
"I 100 per cent feel like growing up, I haven't had my voice heard, and people around my age haven't had their voices heard," Cameron said.
She wanted to see more programs like Life Hacks to get adults and young people on a level playing field and build authentic connection.
"I think there's a large misconception teenagers are lazy and don't care about issues... We actually do, there's just not enough platforms for us to have our voices heard," Cameron said.
Tara Rogers, now 22, took part in Life Hacks as a participant and facilitator and she too highlighted the lack of connection between youth and adults, as well as the lack of understanding.
She said young people needed independence and space.
"Teens need to grow on their own, they need to make mistakes and have their own challenges without adults telling them off," Tara said.
Sixteen-year-old Tommy McMahon has long been an advocate for the voice of youth, having spoken to parliament about its importance, but adults are not listening to young people and it is "taking a toll on us".
"I think we have a lot to offer but our voices and opinions are underrun," Tommy said.
He said young people were able to make the change themselves but they just needed to get started, and he hoped programs like Lifehacks and Changemakers would help.
The white paper outlined a number of recommendations, which included more youth events and youth-friendly spaces; local mental health support; building a more accepting community that embraces diversity; stop lecturing and start listening; and supporting young people to make and learn from their own mistakes.
Dr Badani said the suicides which rocked the community were the symptom of a different problem, related to feelings of inclusion, belonging and trust.
The solution was not simple, he said, and the community needed to sit with that complexity.
But Dr Badami said there was a lot of hope despite the challenges.
"I think young people are incredibly resilient, they're incredibly resourceful," he said.
If you or someone you know is distressed, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline (for those aged five to 25) on 1800 55 1800. If someone is in danger, call 000.
Natalie Croxon
Reporter at the Illawarra Mercury, mostly covering social affairs. Previously of the Bendigo Advertiser, Northern Daily Leader and Quirindi Advocate. Our Watch award winner.
Reporter at the Illawarra Mercury, mostly covering social affairs. Previously of the Bendigo Advertiser, Northern Daily Leader and Quirindi Advocate. Our Watch award winner.
