Want to lob a social grenade into your office? Ask people to rank the chocolates in a Favourites box.
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After minutes of furious debate, name-calling, mud-slinging and passionate dissertations on the flavour profiles of the most contentious choccies - Moros were described as the 'povvo Mars Bar', and Turkish Delights were thoroughly maligned - firm battle lines were drawn.
Here is the definitive office ranking of a box of Favourites.
CRUNCHIE: Was most frequently nominated as a favourite-Favourite, and never nominated as least favourite. It's the Jennifer Hawkins of the Favourite box - even if you don't like her, you don't hate her.
CARAMELLO: Equal second with Moro. Also non contentious. Liked by people who've had the same haircut since high school.
MORO: Equal second with Caramello - but also featured on the most-hated list. Described as a "povvo Mars Bar" by our fearless leader. Could be a positive or a negative depending on how much you like Mars Bars. Another staff member coined the zinger "only morons like Moros". They received a caution for operating puns without a licence.
DREAM: One for and one against, the Dream is the begging of the chocolates that (almost) anyone will eat, but (almost) no one actually gets excited about.
FLAKE: One person's favourite, hated by no-one. Really should be sold only as a cake decoration or ice cream topping rather than a chocolate in its own right.
PICNICS: No one really likes them, but no one really hates them. PICNICS and OLD GOLD are the epitome of 'meh'.
TURKISH DELIGHT: The second most argued about (because clearly no one at the South Coast Register apart from yours truly has tastebuds). Clearly the superior choice, with its delicious coating of milk chocolate around a delightfully sweet, jelly-like (but never oozy) centre, it was almost as hated as the Cherry Ripe. Pearls before swine ...
CHERRY RIPE: The most argued about selection. The vast majority of the office agreed it should top the loathed list, but one person rated it. Another two admitted to enjoying it. HR is speaking with them.
