Don't be caught nude sunbathing

"When I was young, single and straight out of university, my first posting was to a country town on the south coast, where I lived in a little old house by myself, with an overgrown garden, big hedge and my cat. This provided a perfect secluded spot near the back door to get an all-over tan with a glass of wine and a good book. Bliss! Nobody could see me. Well that was what I thought until the postman arrived during one school holiday. He had a registered parcel for me that needed a signature. He guessed I was home because my car was out the front, the door was open and music was playing in the house. He probably thought I was out the back hanging up the washing, so he wandered around the house and got an eye-full of the new young schoolteacher in town wearing absolutely nothing. It was so awkward clutching my towel, holding the parcel and trying to sign his piece of paper. Mind you, he was a good looking young bloke and I got a bit of a tingle standing there with only a towel to hide my total nudity. I think if he had said, 'how about it?' that good looking young bloke would have been in luck. Alas, he was very professional, waved goodbye and rode off to the next house. Whenever I saw him after he'd give me a cheeky wink and a smile. Perhaps I should have been more adventurous and asked him in to see my stamp collection."

Which reminds me of Dudley's lovely daughter, Georgina, who was staying at a very posh resort, where she stripped off to sunbake stark naked in a quiet corner of the roof garden. It was a magnificent spot for sunbaking, with views out to the ocean. She had just settled in when the manager appeared through the access hatch.

“I’m afraid you can’t sunbake here nude,” insisted the hotel manager politely.

“Why?” asked Georgina. “Nobody can see me from here.”

“Maybe not right now,” said the manager, looking at his watch. “But lunch is being served in ten minutes and you are lying on the dining room skylight.”