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But the reality is, a large portion of domestic violence incidents go unreported and fail to be captured in statistics. What society hears about is the tip of the iceberg, whilst the remaining cases lie fully submerged, out of public and police view.

But why is this? Why do so many survivors suffer in silence and fly below the radar?

What often leads to underreporting is the fact that, unlike other crimes where perpetrators are usually unknown to their victim, acts of domestic violence and abuse are carried out by those closest to survivors. Those to which survivors have close and personal bonds with including partners and ex-partners, children, and extended family members etc.

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In these situations where the life of the perpetrator and the survivor are so entwined, naming the abuse and taking it to the police can be so much more complicated and confronting because often common family and friends are involved as well as shared assets and other ties.

Further compounding rates of underreporting is fear. The fear of more violence occurring after a report is made, of not being believed, of being left homeless or with no financial security, of being isolated from children, of the court system and of social and workplace repercussions.

Additionally, survivors often struggle with a lack of access to resources which prohibits them involving police or the legal system. Of greatest concern is that may survivors of domestic violence simply don't know that what they have experienced is in fact domestic violence... because we don't know what we don't know!

But most of all, as counsellors and other professionals who hear stories day in and day out would no doubt attest to, one of the most common reasons survivors do not report abuse is because they are dealing with deep feelings of shame. Many survivors blame themselves for what they have been through and use statements such as "If only I had..." or "It's my fault. I should never have...".

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If we are going to move forward and make a dent in dealing with this social epidemic, we must place the blame with the perpetrator, the person who knows exactly what they have done. We must become educated ourselves and support those who may not yet know the reality of their experiences.

Reporting abuse is the only way forward because silence perpetuates violence.

Erica Rundle

Erica is a counsellor who works with women over 18. Her private practice is located in the Southern Highlands of New South Wales. You can read more about her work at www.shecounselling.com.au. She can be contacted at info@shecounselling.com.au, on 0412 707 242 or via socials @shecounselling.

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