Your partner is relaxing in the garden/with a book/game, and you snap.

What just happened is a common occurrence when we there is too much going on in your head and you can't keep track of it all.

Anxiety often shows as anger, and we take the anger out on the nearest person because we don't consciously think about what is happening and how to change it.

Whether it's Chanukah, Easter or Diwali, we have expectations on ourselves and our families. Those expectations may not be shared by others.

Women tend to carry the mental load more than their male partners, which leads to conflict.

Let's take a moment to breathe and try some of these ideas to help you through the holidays.

Start with sharing a list of your expectations with your family. I found a list-sharing app, so everyone can see what I need done and take responsibility for it. If you have younger children, put the list on the fridge with check boxes and drawings, so everyone can mark off their tasks when they're done.

Try to set time aside when everyone is doing their jobs at the same time, so one person (maybe you) doesn't feel like they're doing at all.

Everyone talks about limiting spending on gifts; this is a good idea but can be difficult if you have a big family. Think about things that can be purchased ahead of time, so you're starting your gift buying early in the year and spreading the burden of spending.

Get your family involved in making gifts where you can.

Try not to spread yourself too thin, don't be the one that volunteers for everything and accepts every invitation.

Pace yourself, block out alone or family time, don't book in so many parties that you lose the joy.

Above all, have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Festive Sinterklaas and enjoy any celebration I haven't mentioned.