"You foreigners are always showering. You should buy some perfume instead.”

It is said that many French people only shower weekly – getting clean is not a high priority and their perfumes are so very good, aren't they? This lack of interest in showering is certainly reflected in their bathrooms, which are often tiny, lacking in privacy and not really designed for water, or people.  

Negotiating a French shower requires all the skills of a contortionist as you manoeuvre yourself under those dangly little shower nozzles. It takes a certain talent to wash your hair, cowering in a cramped corner, covered in shampoo and just a trickle of water coming from a hand-held nozzle thing.

With just two hands you’ve got to hold the shower hose, wrestle a slippery cake of soap, keep your balance in the bath, apply shampoo, rinse yourself and make sure the bathroom isn’t flooded. The latter is quite a challenge as French bathrooms don’t always come with shower curtains or a drain. And in some buildings the hot water is only turned on for a while in the mornings, so you can't always have a shower when you feel like it.

The French shower routine involves getting wet, then turning off the water before applying the shampoo and soap. After that you can turn the shower back on and quickly rinse off. At the end of that process you are generally frozen.

Then there is the toilet paper issue. Because French bathrooms are so small, the toilet is right beside the bath, so any  splash from the shower soaks the toilet roll.

But after five weeks of travelling in France, we mastered the French art of showering.

First take off your clothes and put them in the furthest corner of the bathroom. Remove the toilet roll and hide it under your clothes. Cover all that with your towel. Now turn on the shower and adjust the temperature. This is often tricky because hot water taps are marked C (chaud – hot). Once the temperature is right, go for it.