But not all weddings are like that. I’m told the average price of a wedding these days is over $37,000. That is bloody ridiculous. But then who am I to comment? Us blokes just don't understand.

Bit like Dudley on his wedding day. They were standing at the altar as the minister was getting into full stride, when Grace looked down at Dudley’s feet to see a set of golf clubs.

“What are the golf clubs for?” she whispered.

“This won’t take all day will it?”

Many weddings seem to take the bride a full year to organise. It overtakes their lives as they arrange photographers, flowers, cars, handbags, jewellery, shoes, tiara, veil, bridal gown, clothing for attendants, going away gear, caterers, cake, church, minister, speeches, readings, wedding classes, flower-girls, gifts, groom’s outfit, guest book, hairdresser, makeup, manicurist, lawyer for the prenuptials, master of ceremonies, reception venue, decorations, rings, table seatings, invitations, transport, honeymoon arrangements, video photographer and more.

Then there is the fake tan, fake nails, fake hair colour, uplifting bra, pre-wedding massage, teeth whitening, personal trainers, special diets, frilly underwear and I am told some brides even go to an orgasm consultant before the big day. The poor bloke is marrying some sort of fake who looks nothing like the lovely young lady he fell for.

Fortunately I married a very practical person. For Barbara it was a no-brainer - she would rather spend those dollars on travel rather than looking like a meringue for a day and sure as hell I wasn't arguing. So she bought a smart red dress and we had an enjoyable dinner party. That was 30-odd years ago and everything seems to have worked out mighty well, despite not having forked-out $37,000.

As one minister of the cloth so wisely put it, "young couples should concentrate their efforts on the marriage, not the wedding day." My sentiments precisely.