No and neither would I.

Yet some people insist on making perfectly good food taste like dead smelly stinkbugs when they add coriander.

Horrible stuff.

No point beating around the bush. Is there a fouler, filthier food on the planet than coriander?

The devil's lettuce, according to fellow coriander haters.

I know, you are going to tell me you love coriander. Yes, some people do.

My good wife Barbara is one such person. Worships the stuff. But I reckon half the population feels like me. You either love coriander or hate it.

Coriander is one of those things, like Brussels sprouts, that divides the dinner table.

Coriander has that rare ability to ruin the taste of even the most beautifully prepared food.

I can't even stand picking the stuff in our veggie garden.

When sent out to collect specific herbs and coriander is on the list, I have to thoroughly wash my hands afterwards to get the filthy smell of dead stinkbugs off my skin.

I am told coriander derives from the Greek word bedbug, where the herb is compared to the smell of bug infested bedclothes.

Abhorrence of people to the 'erb the Americans call cilantro has been the subject of much research and it seems a significant percentage of people have a genetic disposition that makes the stuff taste like soap or a stinkbug.

I am certainly in the stinkbug camp.

Cilantrophobia, they call this malady in America.

Legendary master-chef Julia Child loathed cilantro (coriander).

Like me, this was just about the only food she couldn't stomach.

"What would you do if cilantro appeared on you plate, Julia" asked talk show host Larry King.

"I'd pick it out and throw it on the floor."

I know the feeling Julia.

As a fellow coriander hater called Nick wrote; "It is like a Kardashian food. You don't like it. In fact you hate it.

But some idiot brings it out at a dinner party and suddenly you have to endure it to be polite."

Nick reckons his grandfather died just a week after eating coriander.

He later mentioned the old bloke was 97 and suffering from mesothelioma, but that's beside the point.

Like Nick's grandfather, we know that everybody who eats coriander dies.

Yep, 100 per cent of people who eat coriander die. Statistics don't lie.

That's enough about stinking coriander.

What about kale, that's another one.

Newspaper stories tell us this amazing wonder vegetable that will save you from cancer, heart attacks and even syphilis, but if you have ever eaten the stuff, you'd probably be better off with syphilis.

The stuff is just tasteless vegetable cattle fodder, except unlike cows, we aren't ruminants with four stomachs to digest stuff like kale.

Apart from cows and chooks, the only other things that like kale are slugs and snails.

I am told that in trendy Sydney cafes, hipsters pay as much as $12 for a kale smoothie - twelve bucks for a glass of green waste that gives you diarrhea.

Most people who grow the stuff in their veggie garden feed it to the chooks, but an old school mate did provide me with a pretty good recipe.

He reckons the trick is to mix it with quite a lot of bacon and garlic.

When that is all nicely cooked, throw out the kale and eat the bacon. Delicious, he says.

A top way to deal with kale, according to another mate, "is to simply grow a more desirable vegetable species in the very same spot you were thinking of planting the kale."

Brilliant!

So there, we have two uses for kale.

Can't think of any others, unless it would be to add some leafy greens to your compost bin.

Yes, with all the magnificent fresh vegetable, fungi, nut and herb options available to us in Australia, why on earth would anyone bother with kale or coriander?

Give me baby carrots, fresh sweet corn, baked parsnip, boiled beetroot, young potatoes, meaty mushrooms, nutty macadamias, delicious garden peas or those beautiful Brussels sprouts any day.

But hey, everyone is different, aren't they?