Across The River
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WINGECARRIBEE councillors will soon be picking a new general manager to run the show, after advertising for someone, "with demonstrated strategic, corporate, economic development and business management experience."
No mention there about engineering skills or knowledge, despite the fact four of the past five general managers have been engineers (the other was a town planner).
This time, it sounds like they are looking for one of those tedious corporately obsessed little boffins, doesn't it?
You know the sort. They constantly talk about key strategies, core values, fiscal outcomes, enhanced communications, strategic directions, incentivising, networking, leveraging, spillage funds and touching base with stakeholders.
At interview they will promise to have the council moving on to the next level without having to circle back on low-hanging fruit by bringing value-add to the table, while capturing a win-win solution, so long as we all stay on the same page and keep everyone in the loop regarding deliverables going forward.
BUT engineers don't get bogged down with that sort of mindless corporate babble, do they?
Engineers are straight-shooters who know about roads, water pipes, sewers, stop cocks and cooking meat pies.
Important stuff you need to know about.
To the optimist, the glass is half full, to the pessimist, the glass is half empty, but to an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Engineers are so logical, so practical and solve problems laterally.
Let me give you some examples to illustrate how differently an engineer's mind works, when compared with the rest of us mere mortals.
TWO engineering students were at a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well I was walking along in the bush yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful young woman rode up on this bike, threw it on the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "take what you want."
The other engineering student nodded approvingly.
"Good choice mate, the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
See, engineer's brains are not cluttered by sentimental stuff that would normally have clouded the decision others would have made in a situation like that.
AN engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to her and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a handsome prince."
She bent over, picked up the frog and put it in her pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a handsome prince."
The engineer took the frog out of her pocket, and just looked longingly. So the frog persisted.
"Why won't you kiss me?"
The pretty young engineer smiled, patted the frog again and said; "Look, I'm an engineer. Anyone can get a boyfriend, but a talking frog, now that is cool."
THREE blokes - an accountant, a town planner and an engineer - were discussing whether it was better to spend time with their wife or their mistress.
The accountant said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The town planner said he enjoyed being with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer, however, unhesitatingly said, "both."
"Both?" questioned the other two.
"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, so you can go to a mates' place and play computer games."
Again, so logical.
LET'S finish with a lovely tale about an engineer who was using all manner of sophisticated instruments to calculate the alignment of a remote mountain road in Nepal.
A villager who had been watching the engineer with much curiosity approached him.
"What are you doing, Sir?"
"Finding the alignment of the road," said the engineer politely.
"But why are you using all these instruments?" the villager persisted.
"How would you do it then?" ssked the engineer.
"We'd follow a donkey up the mountain, Sir, then chart its route, because donkey's always pick the easiest way up."
"What if you couldn't get a donkey?"
"Then, Sir, of course we'd have to get an engineer."
SO what do you reckon? Should the council follow a donkey up the hill this time, or should they just get another engineer?